- Rapport is about building connections with people rather than approaching them from an authorities position and telling them what to do. Once rapport is built, Erickson found that it was enough to merely suggest ideas to his subject and then they would act on them due to the powerful connection he had already established with them.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Ericksonian Conversational Hypnosis
7 Ways of Dealing With Negative People
- Imagine a powerful force field around yourself that “Zaps” negative external thoughts like a bug zapper.
- Imagine yourself big and huge and powerful like the “Jolly Green Giant” waaaaay up above the little “chirps” of negative voices down below you. It also helps to imagine the negative people to be like whiny little children. You don’t hold it against kids that they can get whiny. But you also don’t tolerate it.
- Chant inside your own mind: “Why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine.” also put it in 2nd and 3rd person: “Why does it work out better than you can possibly imagine?” and “Why Does it work out better than they can possibly imagine?”
- In some cases you may need to challenge them. I would suggest that instead of confrontation, you use the Modern Jedi NLP techniques of “Positive Negatives”. Here’s an example: “I’m not suggesting that you are really being negative, but it seems to me that someone as intelligent as you are could notice some positive aspects about that situation that might put it into perspective…” This statement “calls” them on their negativity and also compliments and challenges them all at the same time.
- Another possible solution is to put your parents to work! If they have nothing better to do than sit around watching TV give them a job. Teach them how to do some of the things that you need help with in the office. Engage them to help with the grand kids. If they feel needed and have something vital to contribute they may make a shift.
- For people who you have to share an office with or who are on a team with you, but who you have no managerial responsibility, be very careful. In a meeting where new ideas are being offered, the “devils advocate” types will kill innovation if they are allowed in too soon. However, they can envision what can go wrong with something, so later on they can be an asset in de-bugging an idea or process.
- Ultimately, we always have a choice. If you are feeling stuck in a molasses like goo of negativity at work or at home you may have to leave. I know that may sound extreme but it may be necessary to protect yourself or give yourself some time to get stronger. To sum it all up: First: You have to manage and take charge of what you can control. Your own mind. Turn up your inner positive volume and use the power of your imagination to turn the negative voices down. Second: Look for ways and resources that will enable you to either distract the negative people or to use their negativity in a positive way. But again, you have to be in charge of it. Lead them away from negativity and towards positivity. In some cases you might have to lay out the rules. Third: If all else fails? Get the hell away from them! ) Life is too short to allow other people to drag you down to their level.
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